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May 24, 2013

Great Golf Quotes

CATAGORIES: TRUE HUMOR — FloridaBill @ 10:15 am

Great Golf Observations

1. These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow.
~ Sam Snead

2. I was three over today: One over a house, one over a patio and one over a swimming pool. ~ George Brett

3. Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that. ~ Jim Murray

4. The only sure rule in golf is – he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie.
~ Mickey Mantle

5. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you’re not good at them.
~ Kevin Costner

6. I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers for par. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

7. After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez

8. The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree. ~ Brian Weis

9. Swing hard in case you hit it. ~ Dan Marino

10. My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded putt. The rest can never be mastered. ~ Lord Robertson

11. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. ~ Jack Benny

12. There is no similarity between golf and putting; they are two different games, one played in the air, and the other on the ground.
~ Ben Hogan

13. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% of the time, you’re the best.
~ Jack Nicklaus

14. The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf. It’s almost a law. ~ H. G. Wells

15. I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers my prayers everywhere except on the course. ~ Billy Graham

16. If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.
~ Bob Hope

17. While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. ~ Henny Youngman

18. If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball. ~Jack Lemmon

19. You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work. ~ Lee Trevino

20. I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they’d come up sliced.
~ Lee Trevino

May 21, 2013

O. M. G.

CATAGORIES: I hate it when this happens,WEATHER PHENOM — FloridaBill @ 7:57 am

Moore, OK tornado

Tornado aftermath in Moore, OK. The devastation is unreal. At least 51 dead, many remain missing; 240 injuries and still counting. A horrible, catastrophic event.

RIP: Ray Mazarek

CATAGORIES: REST IN PEACE,Rock & Roll — FloridaBill @ 7:39 am

Vastly important to the history of Rock & Roll, Doors Keyboardist Ray Manzarek has died. He was 74.
0520-wiskey-a-go-go-tmz-1
Rest in Peace Ray.

May 17, 2013

Dewey, Cheatum & Howe put to shame.

CATAGORIES: FASCINATING — FloridaBill @ 7:50 am

Ditcher Quick & Hyde

“Kai the Hitchiker” arrested

CATAGORIES: LOOK WHO'S STILL ALIVE!!!,NEWS TO GET PISSED AT — FloridaBill @ 7:34 am

If my name was Caleb McGillvery, I would call myself “Kai” too. Appears Kai has killed more than one person with his hatchet.

May 15, 2013

Football joke

CATAGORIES: ROLL TIDE,SPORTS — FloridaBill @ 2:44 pm

MANY OF YOU (LIKE ME) ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO THE UPCOMING FOOTBALL SEASON. HERE’S A LITTLE RECAP FROM LAST YEAR………

Alabama beat Arkansas;
Arkansas fired the coach.
Alabama beat Tennessee;
Tennessee fired the coach.
Alabama beat Auburn;
Auburn fired the coach.

Alabama beat Notre Dame;the Pope resigns…

I wish the White House had a football team.

Fantastical Headline

CATAGORIES: FASCINATING — FloridaBill @ 8:42 am

Mysterious poop foam causes explosion. You really do have to see the video of the foam to believe it. Seems like we should be able to makes engines that run off the stuff.

May 14, 2013

Whaddya think?

CATAGORIES: FAILURE TO USE BRAINS,NEWS TO GET PISSED AT — FloridaBill @ 7:10 am

Whaddya think about this story of the doctor who was performing late term and post birth abortions? Post birth abortions!

May 3, 2013

RIP: Jeff Hanneman

CATAGORIES: REST IN PEACE,Rock & Roll — FloridaBill @ 7:36 am

Slayer shredder guitarist and Raiders fan Jeff Hanneman died. He was 49. It will rain blood no more.

If you get a spider bite, have it treated immediately.