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November 20, 2009

Mortgage Modification

CATAGORIES: GENERAL NONSENSE — Spazticus @ 11:45 am

This is an email from my wife’s friend who lives in Las Vegas:

I’m writing this to give you all an update on my housing situation. You’ve been included in this e-mail because you’ve shown me your interest in what happens and have given me your support throughout this entire bullshit ordeal.

Back in July 2008 it was apparent to me that I was going to have trouble making my payments and proactively reached out to my bank to discuss my options. They were no help to me at all. My last payment was made in Nov 2008. Sometime in early 2009 I got my official ‘default’ letter… no big deal. April 2009 I got my ‘election to sell’ letter which gave me the exact date my house would be put up to auction (Mid-May). 10 days after that letter, I was approved for President Obama’s Making Home Affordable Modification Plan (HAMP). The initial deal required me to make 3 monthly payments in an amount that ended being 1/3 my normal payment. If I was able to make the 3 payments (Trial Period), then my lender would draft and send me out final Modification Documents with a monthly payment in the amount close to the 3 Trial payments. Done. I made the payments. The Modification Documents were not sent out to me by the agreed upon date of Sept 1, 2009. My lender lied or committed fraud… u decide. After 3 months of bugging the crap out of a lot of people that work for my lender (up and down the chain of command), and some outside help from Senator Harry Reid’s office, Lt. Gov. Krolicki’s chief of staff, and CCCS (a HUD consumer advocate group), the Modification Documents were finally sent to me early this week with all the details.
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From my e-mail

CATAGORIES: GENERAL NONSENSE — FloridaBill @ 9:32 am

I am all for this: Proposed Amendment 28 to the US Constitution!

“Congress shall make no law that applies to any citizen of the United States that does not apply equally to all US Senators and Representatives and Congress shall make no law that applies to any US Senator or Representative that does not apply equally to all citizens of the United States . All existing laws and regulations that do not meet these criteria shall be declared null and void!”

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Week in Review

CATAGORIES: WEEK IN REVIEW — FloridaBill @ 9:00 am

File under Week 48 of 2009.

Does anyone else just want to slap this shit out of Mr. Mario McNeill in this pic:
mario andrette ncneill

I also want to slap the shit out of the mother in that story, Antoinette Davis, but not just for her mug shot. How could she? What complete Fucktards!

Here are the rest for the week:

Someone (I am thinking I know who) probably slapped Wanda Barzee just too much.

How about these four Fucktards, three of which are Victor Manuel Sanchez, 20, and Miguel Diaz-Santiz, 25, Alexander Diaz-Hernandez, 19 and an unknown fourth who committed home invasion/kidnapping/ordeal for three days in Orlando? It is one of the reasons the second amendment exists.

15 Year old Alyssa Bustamente is a Fucktard for killing another kid just to “see what it felt like”. This is one sick little girl. OMG.

Judge Stanwood R. Duval Jr. is a complete Fucktard for his ruling regarding the liability of the Army Corp of Engineers concerning the Katrina disaster. Just exactly how strong are they supposed to make those levies? They made Mr. Go too wide? In the sixties? Gimme a break. You, Judge Duval, have now opened the proverbial floodgates.

I think Attorney General Eric Holder (apologies for the extreme liberal bent of that link) is a Fucktard this week for bringing the trial of the 9-11 suspects to NYC. They have all confessed and begged to be executed. WTF do we need a trial for? Shoot them now. Hang them in their cells and afterwards, close Gitmo Prison and open the gates. Those folks will just love Cuba.

Speaking of Fucktardary, why do I keep seeing this hideous face on my screen:

why face

And as for anti-Fucktards this week, how about these eight folks who were wounded at Fort Hood, but are still willing to deploy? Makes you love America even more don’t it?

Check out this story from Pat Dollard on Guantanamo, Illinois. If it happens, does it make Illinois a target?

The early reviews of Sarah Palin’s book “Going Rogue” are in. Will you read it? Or are you more likely to see her daughter’s baby daddy take it all off in Playgirl?

Enjoy your freedoms and happy healthy weekends to all.

November 18, 2009

Tidbits From My Email

CATAGORIES: GENERAL NONSENSE — cj @ 3:28 pm

It’s no wonder I like the people I work with, especially Daniel. Here are just a few of the emails I have received over the last few weeks from him.

“Opened my email this morning and the email at the top is one of the several USDA food recalls I get daily but this one was for “Snacks on Racks.” The next email was from MO Deferred Compensation: “Turn Your Snacks into Retirement Income”. Hmmm…I can complete my diabolical scheme for world domination and save for retirement!!!! Excellent! (Putting fingers together like Mr. Burns). “

Daniel didn’t think he was invited to our Fall breakfast yesterday morning. He then realized he was when he received a message about the meal.
“Look—I am too invited? Sniff, sniff—you guys are mean? LOL”
From sender to all employees: “Sorry all, big mix up. The breakfast is Tuesday the 17th.”
My response to Daniel: “It’s thanksgiving and we needed a turkey. That’s the only reason why you are invited.”

Who knows what this was message was about? He sent it to my secretary and copied me on the message.
“Jaws, what do you mean “it’s almost sad”? It is sad!! Why aren’t tears coming from your eyes. They are from mine….. I’ll get some little round paper pieces from the hole punch.”

And finally I get a drinking email!
“Does it count as drunk dialing if you call the guy at home and he is drunk!?”
My response: “It only counts if he asks you if you have Prince Phillip in a can.”

BREAKING NEWS: Chicago, IL

CATAGORIES: SPORTS — FloridaBill @ 1:32 pm

Breaking News: Chicago

The Chicago Bears football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field. Head coach Lovie Smith immediately suspended practice and called the police and federal investigators.

After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to players was the GOAL LINE.

Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again this season.

MY NEW ENVIRONMENT AT SMALL CUBICLE INSURANCE COMPANY:

We moved from the home office to the field office in Hartford Friday and Monday. It was a downgrade in environment but I made the best of it. I printed and framed some images for my beige walls and hung prints rather than use push pins… It make the palce look much nicer… Below are some before and afters of my area…

P1050279 my cubicle right
The view right before move in.

P1050280 my cubicle left
The view left before move in.

P1050295 my cubicle right post move
The view right after initial move in.

P1050294 my cube day of move
The view left after initial move in.

P1050297 beer pic w lava
I printed and framed a picture of a Northampton Pale Ale taken on the outdoor rooftop bar during the summer. This makes me thirsty!

P1050299 my cubicle middle
Another view of the middle of the cubicle..

P1050281corridor to freedom
This is the way out from where our area starts. The carpet is colorful only in the isle, the rest is blue/gray carpet squares.

P1050282 jason feeling the love
Jason in the field office before the move in…

November 16, 2009

How bout those dawgs?

CATAGORIES: SPORTS — FloridaBill @ 4:48 pm

The SIUC Salukis are the first team in Missouri Valley Conference history to go 8-0 in the conference. Chatanooga here they come!

November 13, 2009

Week in Review

CATAGORIES: WEEK IN REVIEW — FloridaBill @ 10:00 am

File under Week 47 of 2009. Happy Friday the 13th.

The deer are attacking. Beware!

Travis Lee Casebolt leads out list of Fucktards this week. Why are they letting him out of prison? I do NOT understand.

John Allen Muhhamad. Buh bye Sniper-ass.

Mark Mathias. Are you effing kidding me? No bail. No parole. Not ever.

The Burrell family of LaFayette County Missouri are all Fucktards. OMG. How could they? There is no justice to be had in this case.

Khalid Sheik Mohhamad is leaving Guantanamo , but I doubt he will enjoy his stay in NYC very much.

This guy who drove his million dollar Bugati into a marsh.

LIFE-US-WORLDRECORDSSwimsuit Parade

How much of a surge is the President planning in Afganistan?

Here is a link to a story about a list of blogs that are pretty cool. Go read Phil Greenspun’s blog from Harvard on why Dr. Hasan went ballistic at Fort Hood dated 11-9-09. It is long, but well worth the read.

Guess who is number one in the Missouri Valley Conference? That’s right, the SIUC Salukis. If they beat Missouri State tomorrow, they may win the National Championship!

Check out this slide show of some pics from Havana Cuba. Pretty nifty.

Enjoy your freedoms and happy healthy weekends to all.

November 11, 2009

The Christmas Season is upon us so I give you~~~

CATAGORIES: BEER WINE SPIRITS & SUBSTANCES — CinLin @ 3:07 pm

The Perfect Christmas Cookie!

Hope your cookies turn out good. Christmas cookie recipe worth sharing….

1 cup of water
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp.salt
1 cup of brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 tsp. Baking soda
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila

Sample the Cuervo to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer…Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar…Beat again.

At this point it’s best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor… Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet.?

Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.

Greash the oven.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don’t forget to beat off the turner.

& Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS!!!

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