July 30, 2008
Hey gang. Hope everyone is doing better than me.
In case you haven’t hard, I was involved in a dramatic car crash on Saturday the 19th of July. I was driving into own to get some lunch and drop by the ATM on my way to the lake for the afternoon. On my way down the mountain I had a hypoglycemic blackout. I crossed across 3 lanes of traffic, cut a phone pole in half and smashed into the front of an empty restaurant. Live power lines fell over my car & they had to cut power to a chunk of town to pull me out. I got medevaced by helicopter to UAB hospital in Birmingham.
I have had my right hip rebuilt. The ball in my hip joint was smashed through the socket and back out agin. I also had to have a broken nose set.
Link to photos HERE: www.flickr.com/photos/the_george_guy/
So, my car is totaled, I can’t walk for the next 10 weeks & may lose my job. How is everyone else doing?
An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away the last days of her long life, when all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.
”Well, now,” says the old lady, ”I guess I would like to be really rich.”
A married couple in their early 60s was celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, ‘For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.’ The wife answered, ‘Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.’ The fairy waved her magic wand and – poof! – two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands. The husband thought for a moment: ‘Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I’m sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.’
The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish. So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!…the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female…
July 29, 2008
Ladies and the rest of you…lets get ready to rumble. The unofficial winner of this caption contest gets a slightly used condom…only the eyes know how used. Do your worst and good luck at the prize.
A moderate quake has rattled the greater Los Angeles area. They closed a few offices there.
July 28, 2008
Apparently This Does Need To Be Said. If A Man Claims To Be A Market Researcher And Wants To Take Your Children Into A Separate Room For “Underwear Measurements,” Don’t Let Him Into Your House!
July 25, 2008
Now this guy is not only an a-hole but a coward as well.
File under Week 30 of 2008
This is just depraved. Andrea Curry-Demus, 38 is our first nomination for Fucktard of the Week.
This guy in Rome who beat his four year old daughter into a coma is our next nominee.
Demetris McCoy, who coaxed a couple of toddlers into smoking pot is a young Fucktard. WTF?
Kimberly Wooten, a serial arsonist gets her own nomination. Only 15 years?
Radovan Karadzik is our next Fucktard. The Butcher of Bosnia Busted!
Matthew Craig Pillers and Jack Brent Nicholas Keiffer are our next nominations. Honestly, who sets their friend’s crotch on fire? The guy had second degree burns on his testicles!
Edwin Hall, 27 of Kansas who will rot in prison instead of the death penalty, which he deserved, is next on the dance card.
Michael Savage is a Fucktard for saying that kids with Autism are just brats who need better parents.
Speaking of better parents, Casey Anthony is NOT one. She is a Fucktard. Why wait an entire month to report a missing child?
Here is a photo of one of our final nominee (and major dumbass) this week, Kyle Burress:
Some of the best reading I did this week was the op-ed piece by Charles Krauthammer about Obama asking to speak against the backdrop of the Brandenberg Gate in Germany. Great stuff. Meanwhile, the McCainiacs are spinning Mr. Obama’s trip to the mid-East. Neither candidate announced their running mate this week.
The giant salmonella scare of 2008 was related to one jalepeno pepper. One. There can only be one. Stay away from the fresh peppers. Salomeno Jalapeno!
The FCC did away with the fine for Janet Jackson’s breast that was nearly bared for an entire 9/16’ths of a second at the Superbowl.
I enjoyed this site (and was surprised it was not blocked form work because it is definately NSFW. Turns out some of it IS blocked). Don’t miss Episode #17 on the Penis!
I am curious as to Feste’s take on this article about what Doctors really think. I bet he has some better stories.
On the topics of lines, this headline grabbed my attention: Lesbos islanders lose lesbian case. Here was another good headline. Let’s see, they rescue the dude after he falls off a yacht, then shoot him. OK.
Robot Restaurant. Freaky.
Speaking of freaky, I think a UFO may have hit this plane.
Rumor has it that ConspiracyDude is in town this weekend. That does not bode well for several brain cells in this area. 🙄
Happy healthy weekends to all.