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June 23, 2008

How about…

CATAGORIES: SPORTS — FloridaBill @ 9:58 am

…those Cubs?!?!?!

I think we need to hire Drew Barrymore and Jimmy Fallon and the Farrelly brothers NOW to start making a movie.

Go Cubs Go!

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THE ANSWER TO ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION?

CATAGORIES: GAS FUEL ENERGY,MONEY — Yarbz @ 9:03 am

“Right now a gallon of gas costs about $3.10 in Tijuana, while it’s about $4.60 just north of the border in the United States. That’s a $30 savings on a 20-gallon fill-up…”


So, lets just GIVE big old SUV’s to all the illegal immigrants and they’ll drive across the border to fill up and we just won’t let them back.. Oh wait, we don’t have a border that can stop them… Forget I said that…

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One hell of a way to start the week.

CATAGORIES: REST IN PEACE — CinLin @ 8:59 am

RIP George

www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,370121,00.html

June 20, 2008

Week in Review

CATAGORIES: WEEK IN REVIEW — FloridaBill @ 8:00 am

File under Week 25 of 2008

Cedar River Flood

Happy Birthday to the Hula Hoop. It turned 50 yesterday.

A sad passing this week when Tim Russert passed away. He was a great journalist. He has had a very long send-off by his bretheren in the media.

Nominees for Fucktards of the week:
Sergio Casian Aguilar, ” Because his (son’s) injuries were so severe, the child will have to be identified through a blood or DNA test;” a toddler! OMG. I am glad they shot him dead. Fucktard.
Jose Luis Ortega is a Fucktard and a disgrace to men and Mexicans everywhere.
Starkeisha Brown and her girlfriend Krystal Mathews who apparently don’t like boys, especially 5 year old offspring that they tortured and burned and who is now fighting for his life in an LA hospital.
Brice Brian McMillan, 41, and his wife Sandra Elizabeth McMillan, 36 who tied their 13 year old to a tree until he died. Then, they looked all sad about it. Fucktards!
Is this woman a Black Widow Fucktard, or just unlucky? Me thinks the former.
James Bartholomew Huskey who video taped his abuse of a 9 year old and distributed it around the world. I think he should be distributed around the world in very tiny pink pieces.
Stafon Edward Thompson, 17, and Brian Lee Flowers, 16, both of Minneapolis who killed a mother and her son. The details are horrifying.
Jeff Pelo, from Bloomington, IL who went from Police Sargeant to Rapist real fast.

I have an anti-Fucktard this week and believe it or not it is Jessica Simpson. Great Shirt! Please go check out the five reasons only stupid girls eat meat courtesy of the uber-smart people at PETA. #5 just killed me. Their knowledge of nutrition is underwhelming. The comment thread is OK to read in some parts (if you are still bored at work CinLin). And here is a sort of related story about the price of meat, iffin you are interested.

This was a funny thread too if you have a few more minutes to kill.

From Australia, comes our Dumbass law suit of the week. This girl is suing because they gave her a knife in cooking class. You have to read the story. You don’t mean they gave her a knife in cooking class?!?!!?

The what kings talk strategy? Huh? We call it “Bags” or “Bean-bags”in Illinois, not “corn holing”. Hoosiers!

How’s this for a headline: Sometimes it Rains Cement? And exactly how does this happen? Three times? Time to move and/or get a bulletproof vest.

In California, same sex marriages began after their Court ruled that they were legal. Just wait until they get to the same sex divorce part, then they will be sorry.

I want to reiterate that I called a Cross Town World Series in Chicago earlier in the year than this. The cops will start their plans for the same in August. I am excited! Fans get a preview this weekend.

I am also excited that as soon as we finish with this planet, we will have others to go ruin. Maybe they won’t have flooding, or pestulance, or vermin or war or evil people who eat meat…


Iowa Flood

There can only be one and it is the Celtics. Not much of a surprise there. They eat less meat than the Lakers I hear.

From the I hate it when that happens files comes this story about a woman injured by a thong.

What is it with the feet washing up in Canada? They found a fifth one this week. Scratch that, make it six.

Ethnic Chinese are being reclassified as “black” in South Africa. I guess that South-African-Chinese was just one too many hyphens.

I enjoyed this interesting diversion this week…Of course, I also ate a lot of animal generated protein this week, including an armadillo burrito yesterday at Chipotle, so maybe I am delirious.

Wha? Whoa! What was that? I’ve noticed that prices at the pumps stayed and did not increase this week. Hopefully a good sign. With Diesel still up over $2 per gallon from one year ago, it ain’t all that hopeful. Maybe we can afford meat again soon?

US Open results: Tiger and Rocco in a 18 hole playoff for all of the marbles. They tied! Then, Tiger wins in the first hole of sudden death. Tiger’s marble bag gets even biggerer. One of the greatest feats in sports history and his place in history needs to be enlarged. He then announces that he needs more surgery and will take the rest of the year off. Golf is doomed! I played last night in our league and will play some this weekend with my cousins in IN. I am certain there will be lots of meat at the BBQ on Saturday evening and I just hope and pray there won’t be any cornholing.

Happy healthy weekends to all.

June 19, 2008

What’s for lunch?

CATAGORIES: FAILURE TO USE BRAINS,REASONS TO BUY DUCT TAPE — FloridaBill @ 12:11 pm

Today, I am going out for lunch to Chipotle for an armadillo burrito. We call them that because they are as big as an armadillo. What are you having for lunch?

June 18, 2008

Ok, I’m bored at work

CATAGORIES: BEER WINE SPIRITS & SUBSTANCES,GENERAL NONSENSE — CinLin @ 12:35 pm

As Ben Franklin said, ‘In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.’ In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) – bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health

Therefore, it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I’m doing it as a public service
:razz:

Math Trick

CATAGORIES: GENERAL NONSENSE — CinLin @ 11:17 am

Here is a math trick so unbelievable that it will stump you. Personally I would like to know who came up with this and why that person is not running the country. Grab a calculator. (you won’t be able to do this one in your head)

1. Key in the first three digits of your phone number (NOT the Area code)
2. Multiply by 80
3. Add 1
4. Multiply by 250
5. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number
6. Add the last 4 digits of your phone number again.
7. Subtract 250
8. Divide number by 2

Do you recognize the answer ??

THERE’S A LOT OF PEOPLE DOIN’ IT APPARENTLY… AS WELL AS EVERYTHING ELSE…,

GO HERE

June 17, 2008

HERE IS THE PHOTOSHOP FOR THE CONTEST MENTIONED A COUPLE POSTS BACK:

CATAGORIES: GENERAL NONSENSE,HUMOR,IMAGE MANIPULATION,PHOTOSHOP — Yarbz @ 10:09 am

This was for “Animal Morphing”…

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