CATAGORIES: CRIME, GENERAL NONSENSE, HUMOR, NEWS & BREAKING NEWS & FOLLOW-UP — FloridaBill @ 7:43 am

File also under: Week 45 of 2006.

Snake Vomit

Finally, a “musical instrument” that I can play.

Couchsurfing?

Check out the new JibJab video for Weird Al’s “Do I Creep You Out”

In case anyone gives a rats ass, K-Fed-Ex is now threatenting to release honeymoon sex tapes of he and his bride,now soon to be ex-wolf, er I mean wife) Brittany Spears. Now can we get on with more important news? I do find it funny that Federline’s attorney has a spokesman. WTF?

Rudy Guliani has announced he is considering a run for the White House in 2008. I thought the elections just got finished? Any way, Guilani has promised not to show any favoritism to his home town, although he is going to appoint Derek Jeter as the Secretary in charge of banging hot chicks (I stole that line from a morning radio show). Also now considering a run is the proven unelectable John McCain, former WI Gov and Heath Secretary Tommy Thompson and somone named Duncan Hunter.

Nancy Pelosi became the first ever female Speaker of the House on Thursday and immediately sufferred her first of what will be many failures. I can’t wait for the big meltdown.

Also on Thursday, a deadly tornado struck near Wilmington, NC killing 8 people. Good luck to the survivors of this tragedy.

A British company has invented a hair dye that is “for the hair down there”. Can’t I just get my bush frosted? I apologize that this followed the second paragraph above and to anyone that was caused to think about the color of Ms. Pelosi’s pubic hair. I am truly sorry.

A small tsunami struck Crescent City, CA after the warnings were taken down following a major earthquake on the other side of the world. Why don’t they just keep their earthquakes to themselves? I am pleased to report that there was no effect from the earthquake on Lake Michigan, which to my knowledge, has never experienced a tsunami of any magnitude..

Can this be right? Only 1%? I say snake vomit. It has to be at least 2% or more. Has to be.

Nominees for Fucktard of the Week:

William Beebe

Mahmoud Armadillohead

Mathew Fisher (why didn’t he do this before now??)

Joseph “I am NOT Vinnie” Barbarino

This idiot who shot himself in the nut(s).

O. J. Simpson. Perhaps the ultimate fucktard? Why can’t he just die?

The cops in Minona, WIS. Bastards. They really ought to let the other old bastards have their fun!

A potential new feature in WIR this week (depending on how well it is received) is “People I Want to Party With” (PIWTPW). Here is this weeks’ list, for no particular reason and in no particular order:

Vincent Furnier (Alice Cooper)
John Daly (yes, the golfer. I think I could drink him under the table)
Sacha Cohen (Borat)
The members of the band RUSH
J. J. Cale (perhaps the coolest human on the planet, just ask Slowhand)
Jack Black

Who would you like to party with?

Happy healthy weekends to all. I will be out of the office and vacationing/traveling for the next couple of weeks. I may or may not check in and post, but I want to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving! Now get out and get those Christmas lights up!