Employee’s 12-year-old daughter stole his car and he had no other way to work. Employee didn’t want to report it to the police.
Employee said bats got in her hair.
Employee said a refrigerator fell on him.
Employee was in line at a coffee shop when a truck carrying flour backed up and dumped the flour into her convertible.
Employee said a deer bit him during hunting season.
Employee ate too much at a party.
Employee fell out of bed and broke his nose.
Employee got a cold from a puppy.
Employee’s child stuck a mint up his nose and had to go to the ER to remove it.
Employee hurt his back chasing a beaver.
Employee got his toe caught in a vent cover.
Employee had a headache after going to too many garage sales.
Employee’s brother-in-law was kidnapped by a drug cartel while in Mexico.
Employee drank anti-freeze by mistake and had to go to the hospital.
Employee was at a bowling alley and a bucket filled with water crashed through the ceiling and hit her on the head.

The beaver one actually happened to me once…(garage sale one too, but that is a much different story).

PS: Roll Tide!