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March 21, 2010

JUGGFEST: WAR ON BEER COMBAT PHOTOGRAPHY!!!

GO HERE!!!

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February 16, 2010

RIP ON THE KNACK DUDE, DOUG FIEGER WHO DIED TO SOON FROM CANCER… 57 WTF!

MY SHARONA ORIGINAL FIRST VERSE:

Ooh my little pretty one, pretty one.
When you gonna give me some time, Sharona?
Ooh you make my motor run, my motor run.
Gun it comin’ off the line Sharona
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sharona…

MY REPLACEMENT TRIBUTE VERSE:

Ohh I had a tumor man, a tumor man
Why’d I have to die so young, Carcinoma!
Ooh I fought it really hard, oh really hard.
But I couldn’t beat the damn Carcinoma
Gave it my best shot, no give up.
Such an evil thing. Thought I’d live to be eighty five
or even ninety five. My my I die to soon. Da Da Da Damn Carcinoma!

Rip Doug, I hope you find some cool dead guys to play with…

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September 12, 2009

I SHOULD HAVE POSTED THIS 9-11 REMINDER YESTERDAY:

A JOHNNY
FUBAR
SONG ABOUT
9-11 THAT IS
WORTH HEARING
AGAIN

February 22, 2009

MY FIRST EFFORT WITH IMOVIE:

HERE!

January 28, 2009

ANOTHER SELF-PORTAIT. THIS ONE IS FALL OF 1995:

Click on the picture for the 1024 pixel version.
cris-mariann-hotel-texas-1995-1024

December 30, 2008

OLD JUGGERNUTS SITE

FYI TO ALL JUGGHEADS: I have requested a copy of the old program that ran the ‘Old Jugg’ site. If this works, we may have full access to the old blog dating back to September 2003 which should include comments and ‘more’ sections. I will need help once I get the program so volunteers are needed. I know Trench is smart enough but I think he is very busy. Feste knows somebody who may be able to help. I will have to host the old site separately so we’ll have to see how it goes. I would really like to have to old stuff up again as there were some classic posts with pics and stories that should not be lost to history.

Stay tuned

September 30, 2008

34 reasons for men (and women) to have sex!

1. Men who have sex three or more times a week can cut their risk of heart attack in half.
2. Regular romps will also halve a man’s chances of suffering a stroke.
3. One 30-minute roll in the hay burns about 200 calories.
4. Curb irritability:Tactile stimulation soothes nerves.
5. Having sex once or twice a week boosts the immune system by 30 percent.
6. An active sex life slows the aging process.
7. Dancing in the sheets releases sleep-inducing endorphins.
8. Improves your sense of smell.
9. Sex tones the pelvic muscles that support your uterus, bladder, and bowel, meaning better pee control.
10. Alleviates pain from arthritis and (hallelujah!) menstrual cramps.
11. Put more pep in your step.
12. Regular shagging can tighten your tummy and firm your bum.
13. Women who have sex at least once a week have more-regular menstrual cycles.
14. Sex is an easier (and cheaper) way to make up after a fight.
15. Improve your communication skills.
16. Sex can trigger the onset of labor when you’re at term.
17. Getting busy on the regular can improve your flexibility.
18. Gettin’ busy can boost body image,.
19. Doing the horizontal hustle can bring temporary headache relief.
20. Even bad sex is fun to dish about.
21. The more you have sex, the more likely you’ll be to continue to produce testosterone.
22. the more a man ejaculates, the less likely he is to develop prostate cancer.
23. Strengthen your core — it’s like Pilates without the annoyingly perfect instructor.
24. The best amount and quality of cuddle time comes immediately after the orgasm.
25. Good sex creates more love each time.
26. Best excuse in the world for pricey, pretty, frilly, silky lingerie.
27. Two words: “I’m preggers!”
28. You feel more confident and powerful in other parts of your life.
29. Activate your taste buds.
30.  Stir creative juices.
31. A great way to release tension.
32. The one time a man’s oxytocin level can match a woman’s is after his happy ending.
33.  Increases in blood flow to the pelvis keep the oven in good order.
34.  Come on, do you really need another reason?

September 19, 2008

OBAMA OBAMA

Possible Johnny Fubar New Song. Lyric Rough Draft:

Obama Obama
Daddy stuck it in your momma
And they made the loser that’s you

Barack Barack
Your spiel is such a crock
And your fans just eat up every word

Obama Obama
The leftists’ Dalai Lama
You’re worshipers are kissing at your feet

Barack Barack
It’ll be a massive shock
When the left is beaten once again

Everyone’ll know you’re a pitiful loser
Everyone’ll know you’re rotten spastic man
Everyone’ll see you’re a lying sack of shit
Obama the man who would be King

Obama Obama
You’ve been causing all this drama
But your star will fade and silence you

Barack Barack
What will happen to your flock?
They just won’t believe they lost again

Obama Obama
You’ll go crying to your momma
When McCain and Palin win the game

Barack Barack
You can stick it in a sock
Cuz Michelle won’t touch you when you lose

Everyone’ll know you’re a pitiful loser
Everyone’ll know you’re rotten spastic man
Everyone’ll see you’re a lying sack of shit
Obama the man who would be King

September 11, 2008

JOHNNY FUBAR TRIBUTE TO 9-11 AND THW WAR ON TERROR BLAST FORM THE PAST:

CATAGORIES: HUMOR,JOHNNY FUBAR,MUSIC — Yarbz @ 12:20 pm

THE FOLLOWING SONGS AND LYRICS WERE INSPIRED BY 9-11 AND THE EVENTS FOLLOWING:

“Love and Retribution” crappy acoustic song
Song page: soundclick.com/share?songid=38559
© Johnny Fubar

We’ve seen so many things in our lives
And yet it’s true that we haven’t seen much
All the images that we’ve taken in
Cut us to the heart, this diverse Nation

And I know what we do right now
Will help the meek to inherit the Earth

[unrecorded verse]
Now I see what I have always known I’d see
America’s gift to this weary, weary world
The world can choose to hate or stand with us now
Muslim, Jew, and Christian working hand in hand

And I know what we do right now
Will help cement the peace that is to come

But now all we need is
Love and Retribution…

——————–

“9-11” featuring Bush sound bytes
Song page: soundclick.com/share?songid=55632

—————————————

“Time Again”
Song page: soundclick.com/share?songid=96101
© Johnny Fubar

Gonna kick some ass again / Not because we wanted too
Gotta kick some butts again / Forced on us like World War Two

We’d just assume drink our beer / Mow our grass and barbeque
But now are forced to fight again / And so it’s time to rock n roll!

You might say / This is jingoistic
I’ll tell you what / Better open your eyes!

Gonna have to fight again / Just like we did to Hitler when
We kicked the Axis’ evil ass / With the Allies by our side

We’d just assume drink some beer / Mow our grass and barbeque
But now it’s time to fight again / And so it’s time to rock n roll!

[solo to verse chords]

Yeah———– / This ain’t jingoistic
Yeah, yeah / It’s freeing the oppressed!
We didn’t come looking for this fight you brought on but
Hey hey hey / Gonna see it to the end

[Solo/bridge]

This ain’t jingoistic! / This ain’t jingoistic!

Gonna kick some ass again / Not because we wanted too
Gonna kick some ass again / Not because we wanted too

We’d just assume drink our beer / Mow our grass and barbeque
But now are forced to fight again / And so it’s time to rock n roll!

This ain’t jingoistic! / This ain’t jingoistic!
This ain’t jingoistic! /This ain’t jingoistic!

——————–

“Bin Laden’s Cave” a parody of Octopus’s Garden
Song page: soundclick.com/share?songid=38562
© Author: Johnny Fubar

I’d like to be across the sea / Searching for Bin Laden near a cave
He’d run and hide, before he died / In his cowards hideaway, deep in his cave.

He asked all Muslims to go Ji – haaaad! / Because it is, the will of God!
I’d like to be across the sea / Searching for Bin Laden near a cave.

He would be warm below the storm / As his loyal followers are blown away
Resting his head, wishing us dead / But soon we’ll know Osama’s dead instead

We will sing and dance around / When we know that he’s been found.
I’d like to be across the sea / Searching for Bin Laden near a cave.

[Solo]

He would shout and squirm about / The moment he’s sent to meet his Allah
Oh, what joy for every girl and boy / Knowing God sent him straight to Hell.

We would be so happy, you and me / When Bin and his Al Qaeda are long gone…

I’d like to be across the sea / Searching for Bin Laden near a cave
Searching for Bin Laden near his cave / Searching for Bin Laden in his cave
Burying Bin Laden in his cave.

——————–

“Wither” Slow Metal type song…
Song page: soundclick.com/share?songid=38546
© Johnny Fubar

I have been / All around the world and I’ve
Seen things I / Wish I’d never seen

And you live / All around the world and I
Wish you would / Stop these acts of hate, and

[Verse pattern instrumental]

And we inhabit / All the Earth and I
Know our love / Will triumph in the end…

We must hold / On until the
Evil and the / Hate we’ve taken
On withers away on the vine of our
Love…

I have been / All around the world and I’ve
Noticed some things / Are not quite what they seem

All religions / Calling for love but the
Subjects do / What they will

[Verse pattern instrumental]

We must stand / Up for all mankind with our
Love, the love / That will conquer all

[Solo]

We must hold / On until the
Evil and the / Hate we’ve taken
On withers away on the vine of our
Love

——————–

“60 Seconds With baghdad Bob
Song page: soundclick.com/share?songid=312864
© Johnny Fubar

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