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May 25, 2007

Week In Review

CATAGORIES: WEEK IN REVIEW — FloridaBill @ 7:37 am

File under: Week 19 of 2007

chimp-with-carrots.jpg fredthompson.jpg

Does the pic on the left remind anyone else of Fred Thompson? He is likely the next President of the United States if he wants to be.

In light of my recent visit to the former Texas book depository, I thought today’s story on the Kennedy assassination was timely.

Nominees for Fucktard of the Week:
Jimmy Carter of Plains, GA. His mea-culpa and back-pedaling does not forgive his behavior or his presidency. In a recent ranking of Presidencies by James Taranto at the WSJ, they arrived at this conclusion: Bush did a lot better than Carter. Out of 40 presidents*, Bush finished 19th, with an average score of 3.01. Carter was in 34th place, with an average of 2.24–ahead of only John Tyler, Millard Fillmore, Andrew Johnson, Franklin Pierce, Warren Harding and James Buchanan. So, he should shut his mouth and swing some hammers (Millard Filmore, LOL!!). Alexander Hamilton wrote against term limits for the president—“the idea being that bitter exes, barred by law from seeking the office again, would, well, go around acting like Jimmy Carter” (Taranto). That Hamilton was a smart guy as well as a good shot!
Joshua Royce Mauldin of Galveston, TX (formerly Warren, Arkansas). Who should have been nominated (and technically was by Trench) and voted as Fucktard of the Week previously. How could he? As mentioned on MyCrimeSpace.com, I think we should make a big microwave to nuke him in. He is a monster alright and the Devil didn’t make him do it. Mrs. Maudlin is a fucktard as well for saying that he husband must have been possessed by the devil to do what he did citing his good fatherhood previously. Lizzie Borden, who was never convicted by the way, was a good daughter too until she hacked her parents to death. OJ Simpson never decapitated anyone until he did his ex-wife and Ron Goldman.
Craig Stebic of Plainfield, IL. At first, I didn’t want to believe he did it. Now, he is a Fucktard. I am certain that the custody and eviction issues just got to him and they will never find any remains of her unless he cooperates.
John Edwards, perennial presidential hopeful and humble dolt, for charging $55k for a speech on poverty.
Joshua Kistler of Portland, Oregon who posed as a sick child to get sexual favors form young girls. I hope he gets them for free at Sing Sing.
Film star Danny Glover for taking financing for his next two movies from Permanent Fucktard and psychopath extraordinaire, Hugo Chavez.

This had to be one of my favorite headlines of the week. The actual story made me squirm, but the headline was kinda funny. I wasn’t sure that I believed this “head” line. I am still not sure. This headline about gay flamingos (I kid you not) made me smile. So did this headline for some reason. And this has to be the WTF story of the week.

The come-from-behind-pony Street Sense dang near won the second leg of the triple crown, but choked to a horse named Curlin.

After pressure from Attorneys General (and some Bloggers I might add), MySpace has decided to turn over the names of sex predators. It is about time folks. The Illinois AG isn’t messing around and hit MySpace with a subpoena.

I had to be in Detroit on Wednesday. Even with the improvements they made for the Superbowl, the place is a vast shithole.

Congratulations to Jay Leno . Has it really been 15 years already?

Joining the 21st century this week was South Carolina which will now allow sales of “high gravity” beer. Alabama, Mississippi and West Virginia are still in the dark about this issue. I managed to feel OK (meaning my hangover wasn’t too wicked) after a few beers with Spazticus and Paul on Sunday afternoon when they helped me move some furniture. Thanks again gentlemen. My fall from the wagon may continue this evening with a bonfire in the private forest. We shall see.

I have a little guilty pleasure to confess. I have been a fan of the TV show Heroes since it started. The season finale Monday night was great.

Bubonic Plague struck some monkey at the Denver Zoo after it apparently ate a squirrel infested with the disease. I keep telling people that those tree rats are good to eat, but I guess I should stop saying that.

It looks like gas prices will continue to climb… Chicago now has the highest priced gas in the country.

One of the coolest things of the week was the new 19 inch flat monitor I FINALLY got on my desk at work. You should see how good Juggernuts looks on it!

Happy healthy weekends to all!

6 Responses to “Week In Review”

  1. Trench Says:

    I’m torn on FOTW. Of course Mr. Microwave deserves it but Danny Glover just irritates the hell out of me.

    As far as the MySpace thing goes what is Illinois’ AG doing to keep sex offenders off the street besides blaming MySpace? :mrgreen:

    Heroes rocks but I haven’t seen the last 5 episodes. No spoilers please. I’m in the process of catching up.

  2. FloridaBill Says:

    The last five episiodes of Heroes are clearly the best ones, especially the finale wherein everybody dies except Sylar (just kidding).

    Ms. Madigan (the IL AG) is blaming everyone, not just MySpace. You can see what else she is diong here: http://www.illinoisattorneygeneral.gov/children/index.html. I played golf with her Grandfather once. Her aunt is a famous actress who starred in Field of Dreams.

    Mr. Microwave is a Fucktard of unmatched caliber. For someone to place their own child in a microwave oven is just fucking demented. He should die now. I think Danny Glover should move to Venezuela.

  3. FloridaBill Says:

    Once again, Mrs. Microwave is also a big fucktard.

  4. ZappaCrappa Says:

    Danny Glover can kiss my ass…so can Mr. and Mrs. Microwave.

  5. FloridaBill Says:

    I wouldn’t let Danny Glover kiss my ass. He should get in the microwave with Mr. & Mrs. Maudlin and fry like bacon.

    Anyone up for drinking at a bonfire tonight at my house? I promise 30 foot flames!

  6. Geekess Says:

    I think Mr. & Mrs. Microwave need their respective Haldol dosages increased.

    Good weekend, all!

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