How to Start Each Day With a Positive Outlook (from my e-mail)
1. Open a new file in your computer.
2. Name it “Hillary Rodham Clinton”
3. Send it to the trash.
4. Empty the trash.
5. Your PC will ask you, “Do you really want to get rid of “Hillary Rodham Clinton?”
6. Firmly Click “Yes.”
7. Feel better.
PS: Next week we’ll do Nancy Pelosi
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20 Responses to “How to Start Each Day With a Positive Outlook (from my e-mail)”
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April 24th, 2007 at 11:10 am
I hear Dennis Kucinich (?sp) introduced articles of impeachment for Cheney today.
April 24th, 2007 at 11:15 am
He should have sent them to his recycle bin. Kucinich is an idiot.
April 24th, 2007 at 12:02 pm
LOL at Kucinich, he’s nuttier than a fruitcake.
Check out this picture of Dennis and his daughter - sorry, I mean his wife (can I get a WTF from someone???!!!)
http://kucinich.us/node/1164
April 24th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
She is taller, younger and HOTTER. Why is she with this moron?
April 24th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
I want that babe as the first lady!!!! Kucinich for president!!!!!
April 24th, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Chances are better than good that she will have eaten him alive by then. He is too goofy to be in the White House and his little trick against the Veep may just get him shot.
April 24th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
Apparently he has put the offensive on hold for now, since Cardiac-time-bomb Cheney has a clot in his leg from a long plane ride somewhere. He is on blood thinners, however, and so, like Jesse “The Mind” Ventura, he must give up full contact wrestling.
April 24th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
What’s the story on the Elizabeth Kucinich? was she the nordic au pair for his kids or something? This guy is a congressman, so he does have issues.
April 24th, 2007 at 2:16 pm
She’s his 5th or 6th wife. Dennis has a reputation for having a short temper and “anger issues”
After the ’08 elections, Cheney, his lesbian daughter, Kucinich, and his hot wife should do a reality show where they travel around the country in a van solving mysteries. The ladies would solve the crimes while Dick & Dennis would take all the credit. It could be called “The Dick & Dennis Mystery Hour”.
April 24th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
All they need is some hungry stoner to drive the van named Shaggy with a canine side-kick named Scooby…
Here’s the scoop on Liz K.: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elizabeth_Harper_Kucinich She is his third wife and 31 years his junior. How quaint that Mr. K. wants to give the Veep a break and not indict him while he has a clot. What, he doesn’t want to look like the bad guy who indicted Darth Vader on a bad day? What a tool.
April 24th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
I like the reality show idea. Maybe Tommy Chong as a driver and Jpan Rivers as the canine.
April 24th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
I like the Chong idea. Did you mean Joan Rivers? I doubt she could eat like Scoody Doo, but there is a certain resemblance…
April 24th, 2007 at 2:55 pm
W. and Clinton (Bill) in a van with enough weed, you’d have a perfect Shaggy and Scooby pairing.
No wonder things are so F’d up these days. For some reason we decided it would be a good idea to elect Scooby pres for 8 years, then Shaggy for another 8, and now there’s a chance well be putting Mrs. Scrappy-doo in the office in 08, Zoinks!
April 24th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
I thought W was into nose candy, not herb. Al Gore was the total stoner in that election.
April 24th, 2007 at 3:08 pm
Don’t worry Chooey, that chance is none and next to none.
April 24th, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Shaggy seemed very coked up at times.
You’re right, Gore is a total stoner. He’s probably smoked up every day since the 2000 loss. Gets high, puts on a Spooky Tooth LP, gets all paranoid and overheated, which makes him think the whole Earth is warming - not him.
Then to mellow him out, Tipper puts on a Teletubbies DVD, and Al watches while eating a whole jar of peanut butter. This explains why he’s gained so much weight.
April 24th, 2007 at 3:46 pm
An earlier posting stated that the guy used TONS of electricity. He obviously has the Sea of Green in his basement.
April 25th, 2007 at 9:57 am
Yea, Shaggy was always so coked up, with all that eating and everything.
April 25th, 2007 at 10:23 am
“at times”, not “always”
but I get your point
April 25th, 2007 at 10:39 am
He WAS pretty skinny, but sounded too much like Casey Casem for my taste.