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July 11, 2008

Week in Review

CATAGORIES: WEEK IN REVIEW — FloridaBill @ 8:38 am

File under Week 28 of 2008

China Prepares to host the world (and perhaps shoot at them from crouched positions on motorized devices).

Without further photographic evidence, we cannot tell if this bat found in a bra was happy or just uncomfortable.

The State of Virginia is a bunch of phony’s for selling scratch off tickets when the major prize was given away over a month before they stopped selling the tickets, resulting in a zero chance to win $75k. I always have a zero chance of winning since I don’t play.

How about those Cubs? Harden should make a nice addition to the pitching and my prediction for a cross-town World Series is coming to fruition.

I was a minor fucktard (note the difference in capitalization) of sorts last weekend when I did not attend the Ted Nugent show. I also missed a couple of phone calls that would have gotten me there if I had been alert and sober. My bad. I like to think of myself as one who can be counted upon, and you shouldn’t have to call me repeatedly to confirm plans, but I blew it last weekend. I must try harder. (Or drink less or later).

I do not put myself in the same category as Lonnie Ramos or Edward Lanphear or Chaudry Rashad or Hans Reiser who are clearly Fucktards with a capital F. Here is an update on one of our Fucktards from last week, Puffer Fish Dude. Nice try buddy. I gotta think that Christie Brinkley’s soon-to-be-ex, Peter Cook is a Fucktard as well. The two resolved their differences yesterday and Christie got everything. Jesse Jackass makes our list this week (again and as pointed out by Spazticus earlier in the week) for saying that he supports the Obama campaign after saying he wanted to “cut his nuts off”. Nice thing for a Reverand to say, huh? Frankly, I loved hearing it.

    Loved it.

However, it was clearly a low blow.

I did not understand this headline. Then I read the story. I sort of get it now.
I wonder why this headline was one of the most popular on Tuesday? And what about these two headlines next to each other on Wednesday on CNN:
• CNNMoney: Gas prices hold in record territory
• CNNMoney: Oil reverses course after 2-day slide

I hate it when this happens:

Wet Mazda

From the world of SuperHeroes this week, I give you Mr. Methane. What a blow hard.

This morning, there is a huge kerfluffle over the new I-phone. I bet Feste has one already.

This was the best news watermelon investors could have ever hoped for.

RIP to “Doc” Dwyer. You know who he was. Another RIP to Jesse Helms. They are gonna just love you in Hades. Buh-bye.


Helms with Ronald Reagan in 1983: ‘The more we remove penalties for being a bum, the more bum-ism is going to blossom’

And I thought bum-ism was rating the rear ends of women! Go figure.

Happy healthy weekends to all.

4 Responses to “Week in Review”

  1. DaneBramage Says:

    AKs and Segues.

  2. sloel Says:

    FOTW = Chaudry Rashad. I hope he enjoys his arranged marriage with his new cell mate.

    How many TV interviews has Jesse Jackhole done in his life? 20-thousand or so? And he still doesn’t know what the little black thing the audio engineer attached to his lapel actually does? He’s an idiot. That said, this is a non story. Just more fake outrage from Fox News.

    Mr. Methane (he pronounces it Mee-thane) is the greatest guest ever on the Howard Stern show. The guy can actually fart melodies. Impressive. Damn impressive!

    I’ve actually ridden on one of those Segway scooters and I cannot imagine getting off an accurate shot while riding atop one. Great photo though!

    I wish you all a happy weekend of Bum-ism!

  3. Trench Says:

    I’d still like to know why Jesse Helms gets called racist and Robert Byrd, who was actually in the Klan, gets a pass.

  4. FloridaBill Says:

    Mr. Byrd is a virulent racist as well.

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