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March 14, 2008

Week in Review

CATAGORIES: WEEK IN REVIEW — FloridaBill @ 6:27 am

File under week 11 of 2008 - Happy Pi Day
froghumpingduck.jpg
Frog humping duck

Let’s hop right in with this week’s Fucktards of the Week:

Elliot Spitzer. Shouldn’t he be going to jail for this sometime soon? Will this damage the Clinton campaign, who has had no comment? Note that Mr. Spitzer is no longer a super-delegate for the democrats. I am certain he was looking forward to their convention; they usually get lots of high priced hookers at those things. I also heard this morning that “Kristen” didn’t refer to Spitzer as Client 9, she said he was more like four and a half in her professional opinion. The whole thing is just whoreable.
Courtney Lockhart who killed that poor girl at Auburn University.
Khandi Busby who threw therself and her two sons from an overpass, but they all lived. Perhaps she is retarded enough to tempt our next nominees.
Romal Roberts, 18, and his two 16-year-old cohorts who raped a mentally retarded school mate.
The entire Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Again. Who the fuck is Leonard Cohen any way? I damn sure will not buy tickets to see him. Hallelujah indeed. Mad-Donna and Cougar Mellencamp get in , but RUSH does not? WTF? Apparently, commercialism is more important than the music. Maybe we could get Geddy Lee or Alex Lifeson to wear some cone-titties and that would get them in?
Dino Jay Schwertz, a school custodian who raped 10 year old boys. OMG.
Not to be outdone, William Constable, likes them female and even younger and on tape! Sick fuck.
Here are a couple more sick fucks: Gregoria Salgada Vazquez and David Salazar, who kept a girl as a sex slave.
While we are on the topic of sick fucks, try this asshat, Danield J. Collins, who made his kid kill the family cat. W. T. F. ??
They should all fling themselves from the nearest overpass when (and if) they are released.

For Beatles fans, here is a link to a story on Instamatic Karma; a picture book by May Pang that documents John Lennon’s “Lost Weekend”.

Here is a slideshow of what the shores of Lake Michigan can look like in winter on the other side of the pond.

Perhaps Dawn Wells (of Gilligan’s Island fame) will be interested to know that there is a Harold and Kumar sequel. This time, they escape from Guantanamo Bay. I can’t wait.

I have finally arrived at the conclusion that we should just ban all phone usage while driving. What say ye?

This week’s noteable headlines: Here is a headline we hoped to never see, but is becoming more and more frequent. How about World Record Length Ear-hair as a headline? Eek. You would think they would have a better picture, but then are relieved that they do not. Yarbz submitted this headline: Woman Pried Off Toilet She Sat on for 2 Years. Actually, her ass grew around the seat and began to assimilate it; they had to break the seat from the toilet and the seat had to be removed at the hospital. She may have some permanent nerve damage. Wow. This headline about sampling beer before you buy it made my gout flare up just a tad.

Elliot Spitzer may be two-faced, but he’s got nothing on this little girl in India.

I think I know a couple of Hartford area residents (no names will be mentioned) who could be responsible for the condoming of Noah Webster’s finger. Note to self: add condoming (and whoreable) to computer dictionary and global lexicon of words. Potential usage: “I’ll be right with you dear, as soon as I finish condoming.” Definition: the process of putting-on or taking-off a condom for various purposes; removal can also be called de-condoming and should be done with care and proper disposal. Helpful Hint from Heloise: Never flush one, used or unused, in the toilet of a home that has a septic system. Helpful Hint to Client Number Nine: if you are gonna cavort with whores, use a prophylactic dumbass. You just never know where they have been. Even the frog above is using a “rubber” ducky.

Happy healthy weekends to all.

16 Responses to “Week in Review”

  1. Trench says:

    Gotta go with the Jersey rapists for FOTW.

    The Webster story has to be story of the year so far.

  2. FloridaBill says:

    I thought this was a pretty good WIR, but it didn’t draw much in the way of commentary…

  3. Trench says:

    St. Patty’s weekend and all that. Don’t take it personally. :)

  4. FloridaBill says:

    I never do, but I always like to see the comments. Did you have a good weekend?

  5. Trench says:

    As Irish as I am I don’t celebrate. My dad, who was an Olympic drinker, used to call it amateur night. He was wise in some ways.

  6. FloridaBill says:

    I am not even wearing anything green today and I drank no green beer and have no plans to do so. My family would just kill me if I offered them corn beef and cabbage and I may pick-up some clover shaped sugar cookies, but only if they are very lucky (both the family and the cookies).

  7. Trench says:

    As a people we are not the best cooks in the world. I despise corn beef and cabbage. But I’d kill for ham and potatoes. Then again I could be Scandanavian for all I know.

  8. FloridaBill says:

    Yea, I think the Irish invented Shepard’s pie, which is really pretty not good. They also invented Guiness, which some people like a lot and others, like me, think is just goat piss.

  9. Trench says:

    Me too. If I wanted to drink varnish I’d just go out to the garage. Give me a nice Sapporo anyday.

  10. FloridaBill says:

    I couldn’t agree more. Much to the suprise of many of my drinking buddies, I now think that life is too short to drink crappy beer and have become a fan of the better light beers; Heineken, Amstel and Sam Addams are my current favs. I have not bought Bud Light in over a year. That used to be my beer of choice when going for “volume”. I only have Guiness in the house if Spazticus (fka: BuddhaBoy) left some there. He paid me a nice visit on Saturday morning (in between my errands for the kids), but it was too early (even for us) to drink. I spoke with Sal Uki this weekend, but we could not find a mutually acceptable time to get together. I am eager for my trip to B’ham next month.

  11. Trench says:

    Try Yeungling if they have it in your area.

  12. FloridaBill says:

    Do they make a light beer? I have had the full strength stuff (at Yarbz casa I think).

  13. Trench says:

    They sure do. I prefer the black and tan myself.

  14. FloridaBill says:

    I must try that! Thanks!

  15. Feste says:

    Regarding the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame injustice:

    Not that I am a big Rush fan… but hear me out…

    I was skiing hard core doing this bump run over and over and over (with my 6 year old daughter who was really thrashing them) this past sunday. It is a somewhat short trail serviced by a double chair lift, but they have huge speakers mounted on the lift towers with classic rock tunes piped in. One of the tunes Sunday was “Free Will”. NO Madonna. No John Cougar Mellancamp (although I do like a good bit of what he has done).

    NO MADONNA. Now if there were 20-something year old chicks skiing in lingerie, then Madonna music would be fine.

    Just my 0.02$

  16. CinLin says:

    Ya know,
    That frog is starting to disturb me.

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