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January 25, 2008

Week in Review

CATAGORIES: WEEK IN REVIEW — FloridaBill @ 8:39 am

File under: Week 4 of 2008
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Goth Freaks

General Butt Naked confesses to 20,000 deaths. < Maybe the headline of the year and it’s only January. The “you are kidding?” headline of the week: here. The OMG headline of the week was this one. This had to be the best headline of the week. Dwarves!

The Anne Frank Tree has been saved from being cut down. Thank goodness as I was losing sleep over this.

This story contains the line “I kind of like to see Barack and Hillary fight” and it was uttered by William Jefferson Clinton! He and I finally agree on something. I say steel cage match!

From the “give us a break files” comes this story about three little pigs and some pissed off Muslims. Imagine that.

I enjoyed this parody of Tom Cruise’s video rant on Scientology. KFC! Ha!

One of our favorite local newscasters, Randy Salerno, died last night in a snowmobile accident. We’ll miss him.

I thought this was an interesting story and it sounded like something Yarbz would do if he had no legs. If he had no arms and legs and hung on the wall, we’d call him Art (and Phil if he was in a hole and Bob if he was in the water and Matt if he was in front of the door).

Uncle Fred Thompson dropped out of the presidential race, much to my chagrin. I really like him and he would do a good job, but alas, it is not to be. Back to Law & Order me thinks.

One of the biggest stories this week was, of course, the death of Australian actor Heath Ledger. Looks like an accident; certainly a tragedy.

Fucktards this week:
John Schillaci, wanted for the rape of a five year old boy. How could he?

Charlena Graham, who steals form the dead. Nice.

Melissa Arrington who laughed about the cyclist she killed. May she reap what she has sown.

Amy Swinehouse (a nickname borrowed from Durfie) who has earned a permanent nomination in the annals of fucktardary with her antics this week. We say “go go go” to rehab you silly witch.

John Reims who likes to rape elderly patients in nursing homes. OMG.

This Chinese girl and her boyfriend who video taped the killing and dismemberment of her married lover. Lovely.

Jacky Johnson who beat his girlfriend’s baby to death. An eye for an eye brother.

This 16 year old boy who planned to hijack a plane and crash it into the Hannah Montana concert. Dipstick.

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Mathew Watkins of New Bloomfield, MO. who went on a bit of a chain saw rampage. Here are ten reasons to do so. I would add an eleventh: to be a Fucktard.

Happy healthy weekends to all.

33 Responses to “Week in Review”

  1. Trench says:

    The dude has more make up than his woman.

    And if Yarbz had no arms and legs and was in a pile of leaves we’d call him Russel. And if he was water skiing we’d call him Skip.

  2. FloridaBill says:

    Good ones! I must remember those.

    The goth dude kinda looks like something out of a Ghostbusters movie. His pet is kinda hawt.

  3. Trench says:

    I’d hit it until she saw the light.

  4. CinLin says:

    Freakness aside, the goth dudes coat is cool.

  5. FloridaBill says:

    Iffin you say so…

  6. Trench says:

    It’s cool for women.

  7. FloridaBill says:

    Not even sure about that.

  8. ZappaCrappa says:

    Though not the winner by any stretch (maybe there can be a different category then FOTW)…how about this woman who saw an ad for a job that looked suspiciously like hers AND listed her boss’s phone number as a contact. Assuming she was about to be fired, she erased 2.5 million worth of data and blueprints from her firm’s data system…only to find out later the ad was for her boss’s wife’s company…oooooooops:
    www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,325285,00.html

    I saw the “Three Little Pigs Story” and was going to post on it but figured you had it covered…you did. I’m still trying to figure out the people that don’t think Islam is a fucked up religion…especially to women or people that actually think for themselves…oh well. I guess the same can be said of some forms of christianity…thank god I’m not one of those either : ) heh heh

  9. FloridaBill says:

    The lady who erased data is a Fucktard of significant caliber. What a dumbass! And now, she knows it!

  10. ZappaCrappa says:

    Oh…and my nomination for FOTW is Melissa Arrington…what a piece of garbage she is. Hopefully, she will be made the girlfriend of a bicycle riding, tree hugging, French Bull Dyke.

  11. goober says:

    I was just sitting here thinking about making a drink (it’s 5:00 somewhere and I have to go back to work tomorrow) when I read that article – LMAO – gee I never get picked for those kinds of surveys. And then I see all the ‘related’ articles to the right side – AA, I lost 10 years of my life to drink, maybe someone is speaking to me today. Anyone up for counseling me? LOL

  12. FloridaBill says:

    One day at a time goober…Dane is probably best qualified to provide counseling as the rest of us are sorry drunkards (well, most of us are).

  13. ZappaCrappa says:

    Rehab is for quitters. If it wasn’t for drunk women, I would probably have never gotten laid in my youth. All hail alcohol!!! BTW…day 25 and no mary jane! Its not been too hard but one thing I have noticed…my dreams are MUCH more frequent and vivid without my nightly toke. Anyone other smokers ever notice this? My buddy is cleaning up with me and he says the same thing.

    How’s Bill doing Goober? My neighbor had shoulder surgury last month and the rehab seemed like a real bitch!!!

  14. goober says:

    well good – then I’m in the right place as I love my whiskey. (and am not about to give it up) I didn’t get the nickname “Kahula, Queen of the bottle” for nothing. LOL

  15. ZappaCrappa says:

    “Kahula, Queen of the bottle”

    That sounds like floor show I saw in Mexico once…

  16. Yarbz says:

    What kind of whisky goober?

  17. goober says:

    I like Jim and Jack the best. I bought two half gallons of Jim last friday. I’m halfway thru the first one – only because I’ve been sick and not much up to drinking this week. :) Not to mention having to take care of my husband – which he’s up and about now doing really well. My best friend says he doesn’t understand how I can get sick with as much as I drink – LOL. I also really like Crown Royal, however I can’t drink it slow enough to enjoy it. LOL

    When I got married my friend gave us a bottle that was in a nice little pouch – with the barrel #, etc. on it – she said to drink it on a special occasion, so we kept it. The years kept passing – no special occasion, then I got pregnant with twins – of course, then I couldn’t drink. By the time I could drink or felt like drinking – the moment had well passed. We still have the bottle it will be 14 years this year. I told him I guess we’d have to get divorced to drink it. LOL

  18. Yarbz says:

    OK. I am more of a scotch drinker but like good bourbon as well. Was you bottle Blanton’s???

    blantons.jpg

  19. goober says:

    Yes! Looks just like it – but ours is from 1994. There have been many times I ran out of drink and didn’t want to go to the bootlegger and almost tapped into the bottle – but just couldn’t without hubby home. LOL I usually run out when he’s out of town and have to send my best friend to the bootlegger. But I hate their prices. Unfortunately I live in a dry county – which sucks! However, that bottle would only last me a few hours – LOL – as much as I hate to admit it. ;)

  20. Yarbz says:

    Its very good. Once I bought a bottle for Florida Bill and he dispatched it rather quickly. It’s 100 proof so I drink in with a rock, sometimes two. I stock it at my bar along with about 5 other bourbons, two Irish, two Canadian and about 25 schtches.

  21. Yarbz says:

    I almost have as much whisky as I do LavaLamps (36). Why? I don’t know.

  22. goober says:

    So how far from me do you live?? LOL I think I would love to visit you!! ;-)

  23. FloridaBill says:

    mmmmmmmmmmmmm Blanton’s. yumkibbibles. I doubt it took me long to drink that bottle, but I have slowed in my old age (just a bit). I love the horse cork (careful how you say/spell that) thingy too.

    Goober, go visit Yarbz, no matter how far away you may be, and I promise you that you will enjoy great hospitality and more drink than you can handle. I promise.

    He and his wife are the best hosts and he always has the best beer and best liquor and a dynamite place to relax, kick it , listen to tunes (on the best system) watch vids (on the several screens at once if so desired or just the ginormous screen) and drink yourself silly.

    Gosh, I can’t wait to visit again myself.

  24. FloridaBill says:

    Oh, and you must see the lava lamp collection. It is unrivalled.

  25. ZappaCrappa says:

    My daughter just bought her first lava lamp…she loves it.

  26. WeirdSin says:

    Blanton’s is on top of my must try list so is 4 Roses. Alabama ABC makes me ANGRY. Going to have a Wild Turkey Rare Breed, and Sat. will finish up Derf’s Buffalo Trace That his wife picked up in Tennesse. Cheers! and Roll Tide!!! 1/26/83 makes 25 years since The Bear died.

  27. goober says:

    I bought my oldest daughter a lava lamp a few years back – I think she took it took college with her. LOL I don’t think those things will ever go out.

    Now you all have me wanting to open my cute little bottle and try it!!! :)

    Visiting Yarbz and his wife sounds wonderful! Two 18 yr olds and 9 yr old twins – I’m soooooooo ready for a good vacation! LOL It’s been awhile! All y’all are a hoot and sound like a fun group to sit around and drink with!! ;-)

  28. goober says:

    ZC I don’t plan on quittin’ my drink anytime soon – you know how much I love to drink!! And I’m sure most guys agree with you on the drunk women and their youth – LOL.

    Bill is doing really good – I’m impressed at his recovery. However, physical therapy won’t start for another week – so we’ll see then. The ice machine (I don’t know the proper name) he has works wonders! My sister used it in the summer when she had a knee replacement. She swears by them. Bill does too now – he didn’t want it at first – but I insisted. He’s getting stir crazy right now – sitting around the house doing nothing is not his cup of tea – he’d much rather be at the office. The surgeon told him because of the bicep repair it would be six months before he’d have full use of that arm like he used to. Thank goodness it was his left shoulder. I tried to tell him that new bungee sex swing was gonna cause problems. LMAO

  29. FloridaBill says:

    goober: glad to hear the better (or other) half is recovering.

    WeirdSin: You definately should go visit Yarbz…

  30. goober says:

    Thank you FB and you can’t quit putting (or other) he is the better half of me!! :) And I hope you all know I was really joking about the sex swing – LOL!!

  31. goober says:

    *oops I meant “can quit” – LOL – guess I should stay off here tonight since I’m drinking – LOL – does that surprise anyone?? That’s ok – I’m off the next two days – wooo hooo : )

  32. ZappaCrappa says:

    “And I hope you all know I was really joking about the sex swing – LOL!!”

    I doubt that. I bet you have more toys than Mattell!

    And I can’t believe you let my whole….“Kahula, Queen of the bottle”
    That sounds like floor show I saw in Mexico once…” go by without comment ; )

    Don’t worry…we’re all pigs here…’cept for Yarbz dad maybe.

  33. goober says:

    I sooooooo wanted to comment on that – but I thought I’d better behave. ;)

    “I doubt that. I bet you have more toys than Mattell!”

    ROTFLMAO – where did that come from??? LMAO – just becuase I have stock in Duracell doesn’t mean ANYTHING!!! Should I be offended?? Ok………maybe not – you are such a nut Zappa!!! LOL