File under: Week 2 of 2008
Alone in his tiny plastic sea kayak marine biologist Trey Snow had hoped to stealthily track a great white shark. But he had the shock of his life when he spotted a giant fin and realized it was he who was being stalked by surely one of the most feared killers in the world. Better him than us, eh? I like to fish, but that would just freak me right out.
Nominations for Fucktard of the Week:
This unnamed gentleman who cut off his hand then microwaved it before calling the cops.
33 year old Banita Jacks of Washington DC who claimed that her four daughters were possessed, so she killed them.
Christopher Lee McCuin of Texas. Just yuck. Don’t hit the link if you don’t have a strong stomach. Suffice is to say that it appears he killed and was going to eat (if he didn’t eat some of her already) his girlfriend.
Gary Michael Hilton who appears to have killed the missing hiker, Meredith Emerson, in GA. He DID lead authorities to her body after all. Could he be a serial killer?
Pennsylvannia’s Roy Chamberlain who allegedly raped the same woman 200 times. I can’t even begin to fathom the problems those two must have.
Roger Clemons or Brian McNamee? You decide who gets this nomination. Clemons has certainly gone on the offense and has a point about HGH not making anyone a better pitcher. I want to believe him, I really do!
Just exactly WTF is wrong with this man?
The aptly named Bryan Scott Moron is another nominee. Nuff said.
Lam Luong of Bayou La Batre, AL who tossed his four kids off a bridge spanning Mobile Bay. How could he? I would volunteer to throw his sorry ass from the same bridge and feed him to that shark above. That would be justice.
I thought this post, put up after the death of blogger Andrew Olmsted, was powerful stuff. RIP Maj. Olmsted and thank you for your service and sacrifice. I am beginning work on my auto-obit for the blog now and suggest you all do the same, just in case.
As for headlines this week, I think Confucius must have written this one.
This headline nearly made me ill.
Whaddya think about this story about Cigna allegedly killing this transplant patient? I’d be very interested on Feste’s take on this story.
Or how about this boy scout who grabbed a knife and saved the leader of the Maldives. I didn’t know the Maldives had a leader.
Or this Polish couple that ran into each other at a brothel. What luck!
Or this story about someone requesting $3,014,170,389,176,410 (that’s over three quadrillion dollars, more than three times the GNP for this entire country) for hurricane relief. That isn’t relief, that is robbery (or at least attempted fraud). I bet their real claims don’t add up with any more than one comma. Bastards.
The weather was weird this week with record high temps (two days in a row we hit a new high of 64 f) in the Chicago area that touched off Thunderboomers on Monday night.
Sir Edmund Hillary, the first (or perhaps second, if you count sherpas) dude to get to the top of Mount Everest, died; he was 88.
LSU won the National College Football Championship on Monday. I think it was also the longest college football game ever. At least it felt that way. They proved, once again, that the SEC is still the best conference. College ball really needs to move to the NFL method of time-outs on first downs only in the last two minutes and speed up the games.
In politics, John McCain and Hilleroid won New Hampshire. Here is what I want to know: why is his face lopsided? He seems have some kind of bulge on the left side of his face. Maybe a really bad case of TMJ? Some sort of post-prisoner of war disease? Did anyone see his post-victory speech? If so, please let us have your thoughts. Mine are: please don’t read to us Uncle Johnnie Mack. And it appears Hilleroids crying got her some votes in New Hampshire. That ain’t gonna work in South Carolina or Michigan Mrs. C.
Happy healthy weekends to all.
January 11, 2008
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