From my e-mail: 10 thoughts for 2008
Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.Number 8
Men have two emotions:
Hungry and Horny. If you see him without a boner, make him a sandwich.Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky. Not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200 .00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?Number 2
In the 60’s, people took acid to make the worl d weird. Now the world IS weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.And The Number 1 Thought For 2008:
Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers.
What you do today, might Burn Your A$$ Tomorrow’ .
And the number one thought for the day is:
Life is like a huge toilet with everything you want on the bottom under some losers big floating turds. You gotta go though a lot of shit to get what you want.
What a lovely thought. It certainly describes the start of my last two days when the dog had shat in her crate. To my credit, I neither yelled at her nor skinned her alive. Instead, I let her out and had a hard time getting her back in the door as she thought I was mad at her (which I was, but I was under control) and began the task of cleaning up her mess. If she does it tomorrow, I am going to sharpen my knife and warm up my vocal chords and may have a rotweiller hat for Christmas…