Week in Review
Apologies for no WIR last week and a lame one this week. I was on vacation and we took the family on a trip to the Knoxville, TN area. Beautiful place. We also had our youngest daughter’s 13th birthday and I have been battling a wicked cold that I am hopeful isn’t pnuemonia.
This week, after having Monday and Tuesday off, I couldn’t pass up this person as Fucktard of the Week. She stabbed her two young children in the restroom of a convenience store with a steak knife. How could she?
As far as headlines this week, this one was something I long suspected, but have now confirmed: Study: Canadian Beer Drinkers Threaten Planet! Someone alert the real media, eh?
Last night, I visited Sal Uki in his Underground Museum and enjoyed the company and watched the Cowboys/Packers game. We learned a couple of things: first that Troy Aikman is the biggest piece of shit ever to leave God’s asshole and secondly that Wade Phillips (or Dave Mustaine, depending on who you ask) has a vagina. I made myself laugh all over again just typing that. Perhaps you had to be there. It was also unanimously agreed that it has been far too long without a good photoshop, especially one involving my image. Someone needs to fix that.
Happy healthy weekends to all!
10 Responses to “Week in Review”
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November 30th, 2007 at 10:10 am
It has been way too long without an FB photoshop.
And thanks to the Cowgirls for totally screwing my fantasy football season last night.
November 30th, 2007 at 10:24 am
An FB photoshop eh? Maybe soon.
Canadian beer drinkers are bastards! At least us Amerreecians use big fridges for our beer…
November 30th, 2007 at 11:22 am
Okay FB…I was at the game and missed Aikman and Philips. You HAVE to tell what happened to confirm your belief that Aikman is of heavenly rectal birth origin and Philips is a squatter instead of a stander : )
November 30th, 2007 at 11:51 am
Hey look, the only thing I have against Aikman was that he played and or coached for the Cowboys; same for Wade Phillips, Emmet Smith, Tony Dorsett, Tom Landry, Roger Staubach (who looked marvelous last night for a man of his advanced age) and anyone who ever worked for Jerry Jones. God squatted upon Texas Stadium (the hole in the roof is NOT for Him to watch the Cowboys, but to relieve Himself) and Troy Aikman landed right on the big blue star. At least that is how the legend goes.
The Wade Phillips comment was funny because 1. We were inebriated (yes, I have fallen from the wagon again, but not too far) 2. A MegaDeth video and song (Symphony of Destruction) was playing on Sal Uki’s new toy, Total Access You Tube on his laptop. 3. The game has just ended and Mr. Phillips was being interviewed. 4. I made the comment that I thought that guy had a vagina. Sal and Billy thought I was talking about Wade Phillips and both burst out laughing. 5. I was laughing harder (to the point of tears and near pain) because I really meant that Dave Mustaine had a vagina and not Wade Phillips (who may or may not squat to pee, but works for Jerry Jones so he is clearly an asspipe). Again, you probably had to be there to appreciate the extent of how funny it was. I needed a good laugh like that.
Sal’s buddy Billy is a HUGE Cowboys fan BTW and he took great umbrage at my comment that Aikman was the biggest piece of shit ever to leave God’s anus and both said they could think of lots of guys who were more turdlike than Aikman. I put Michael Irvin right at the top of that list…right near Jimmy Johnson and the ulmimate in ass-byproduct, Barry
Shitzer, er Switzer..November 30th, 2007 at 11:54 am
LOL
I was just curious. Irving is a piece of dung. The last time the Cowboys came to Green Bay, he was playing and had just gotten busted for coke. One memorable sign read, “IRVING!!! The white stuff on the field is snow….don’t snort it!” That’s funny stuff.
November 30th, 2007 at 11:59 am
So, ZC, I assume you were at the game wearing yellow and green and rooting for the cheeseheads? Too bad about that Favre dude…he’s got ten days, maybe he can get all better and continue his string of starts. We just love that guy here in Chicago (SCREAMING SARCASM ALERT), but Sal and I both found ourselves somewhat saddened with his injury (now that the Bears are nearly out of the season all together).
November 30th, 2007 at 12:05 pm
I see from the post above that you were.
November 30th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
If you go look on the front page, I made a post about it with a photo : )
December 1st, 2007 at 3:48 am
The giant toilet bowl analogy for Cowboy stadium was a classic, FB.
Update for you on our Carbondale trip:
Hotwired a hotel en route. stop.
Room is in the shadow of a 200 foot cross that was designed as a tourist attraction. stop.
Front desk dude asked us for a donation to help keep it lit at night. stop.
Saturday’s revised schedule:
- Noon. Tailgate.
- 2:30 p.m. Kickoff vs. UMass.
- 5:00 p.m. Taigate #2 at conclusion of football game.
- 5:15 p.m. Order Quatro’s delivery to tailgate.
- 8:30 p.m. Basketball vs. Indiana.
- 8:31 p.m. Throw old batteries at Kelvin Sampson.
- 8:32 p.m. TBD
Sincerely,
- Drunk in Effingham
(Note to self: ‘Drunk in Effingham’…possible band name?)
December 2nd, 2007 at 4:36 pm
Heck of a trip Sal. I suppose that you will e going to Chattanooga too?