Week in Review
File under: Week 36 of 2007
This Week’s pic is Justin Barker of Jena, MS who was severely beaten by six other young men. There was a huge rally to support the young men that beat him. Just wow.On Monday, I played in charity golf event with Cubs legend Randy Hundley. We played at historic Beverly Country Club, which is a marvelous track, designed by the famous golf course architect Donald Ross. Hundley was awesome company and could really hit the ball. I also think he should be in the Hall of Fame, but I am now biased. He beat me by about six strokes. I also got to meet Jim McMahon and Otis Wilson of the ’85 Bears. I had played golf with Otis two years ago, but failed at the time to obtain his autograph on a ball. I changed that Monday and scored McMahon’s signature as well. Both McMahon and Randy Hundley wore number 9 when they played. Coincidence?
We have a clear winner of the Fucktard of the Week (and he has gained entrance in to the Permanent Hall of Fucktardary or PHOF) in the form of Orinthal James Simpson. What a dumbass. He should do some hard time for this, even if it was a set-up with tape rolling. Now we have to puit up with endless coverage of every detail of the forthcoming trial. John David Roy Atchison was a close runner up to the Juice. Not only does this prosecutor have four names, but he tried to have sex with a five year old. Five! What a sick mutant fucktard this one is. Kill him now. Our second runner up this week is Andrew Meyer, the Florida student who got tazed at a John Kerry speech. Did Kerry ever answer the question? “Don’t Taze Me Bro” could potentially be a song title recorded at JuggFest this weekend. We also have a third runner-up, Nebraska Senator Ernie Chambers who has now sued God to stop terrorizing the planet. Special mention as a FOTW goes to Dan “I’d” Rather “not” for suing his former employer, CBS for $70 million.
Speaking of crime, the jury in the Phil Spector trial is deadlocked and can’t reach a verdict. Just as the Wall of Sound defense team had hoped. Another celeb walks.
This headline nearly made me spew coffee on my keyboard. France is threatening war? That is funny. This headline was quite disturbing. This headline makes me want to see the new PETA commercial. This one was just creepy.
As was posted, Wednesday was ”Talk Like a Pirate Day”. You should be keel-hauled if you even care a little.
Need to waste a few minutes, go here and watch these idiots try to catch a manatee. Why? What were they thinking?
Here is an idea that any one of us could have had, and why we didn’t is almost beyond me.
This story interested me from a professional standpoint. I handle harassment claims and discrimination claims and claims for wrongful terminations, age discrimination, etc. But it really interested me because I loathe Isiah Thomas.
Very much looking forward to JuggFest to celebrate Septembeer and Octobeer. I will allow myself to fall off the wagon Saturday, but hopefully not too far from it. If Conspiracy Dude (or anyone else) would like to take the reigns for next Week’s WIR, that would be great. Otherwise, expect the unexpected from JuggFest and a few pics I am sure….
Bama has to face SEC rival Georgia tomorrow too. Roll Tide. This weekend, I am also a big Michigan State fan. Go Spartans.
Happy healthy weekends to all. Wish us luck in Hartford. Don’t be too surprised if you get drunk dialed.
The dudes who beat him should get something severe but attempted murder charges seem too harsh. I would want to look at similar beatings and the penalties paid during the previous decade to decide. Also, isn’t he one of the guys who admitted hanging nooses up on the tree where the black dudes were sitting and the white dudes didn’t like it?
Too bad that Jackass and Plumpton can’t pick people to rally behind that are truly upstanding citizens that are being screwed rather than criminals and asspoops.
What did you have them sign? You should have brought a football for them to sign…
John David Roy Ballitch should be on the receiving end of OJ’s slong five times. The two would make a great pair.
I have been intentionally not following the taser story but it seems to me we should tase anyone who talks too long… Especially in the Presidential Debates! Just picture that! It should be a Saturday Night Live skit. I should pitch it too them!!!
God gonna get dat dude… I wonder if God will retain Johnnie Cochran??? “I god ain’t at the scene, it means that he ain’t mean!”
But you’d think that they’d convict him for being a hairy looking nutjob. Wasn’t that one of the counts in the indictment?
The first headline was a misprint. It should have read: “US Can Live With a Nuked Iran”…
I can’t get the video from MySpace.
Nudie stuff is always a worthy topic…
Isaiah is a numbtard loser racist bastard open anus tongue inserting shit licking scum sucking douche of the highest order.
FB will be here tomorrow and we’re gonna have beer and lunch on the way home at a nice pub somewhere. All are welco9me and encouraged to join us for football and films at the Jugg HQ. Feste? Sloel? Dormant members everywhere… You know who you are…
‘Bama may well be in HD tomorrow night!
You guys know the number to call if you want to call us. I don’t think we have everyone’s number.
I really want to vote for the taser guy only because it was such an obvious stunt but I have to go with Prosecutor Scumbag Peepants McFournames. Head on over to http://mycrimespace.com for more on him. (Subtle huh?)
Excellent WIR as always Bill. Everyone have fun and stay safe at Juggfest. Have a few for me.
And I see that our Manatee fishing friends got the Red Foreman Dumbass award! Prosecutor Scumbag Pee Pants should get a nice reception in prison unless he actualy manages to off himself first. He knows what is coming and it ain’t him.
For Yarbz: I had them all sign golf balls.
My toe is hurting already (I have the gout) just thinking about how much beer we might drink.
Speaking of Jim McMahon I have a pretty cool story. It was May of 1986. I was at the Philadelphia airport getting ready to go on my senior class trip to Florida. I see these 2 guys walk through our terminal. One was white and was wearing sunglasses and a headband. The other was black and was wearing a black tshirt and camouflage pants. I lean to my buddy and said look at these two jackasses. They think they’re Jim McMahon and Walter Payton. About 10 minutes later another friend of mine comes up to me and says “Dude, I just got autographs from Jim McMahon and Walter Payton”.
I felt like an idiot.
In case you haven’t heard, God actually answered the law suit filed by Mr. Chambers: http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/law/09/20/suing.god.ap/index.html
Most celebs that I have run into in my time didn’t look like anything special and you could easily miss them. I once ran into Jimmy Buffet, ironically at a place he owned in Northern Fl that is no longer there called, not surpringly, Margueritaville. It was mid-afternoon and there was no one in the place, except this guy in a Hawaiin shirt at the end of the bar. At first, I thought no way could that be him, but the bartender said it was and that he was a regular. He was delighted that we had patronized his place, even though it went under soon thereafter. I saw the band AC/DC walking thru St. Louis airport (they are short, smelly and more than a little grungy) and recently ran into Rex Grossman at O’Hare. He is also pretty short, but was a nice enough fellow. I have lots of celeb stories…Avery Brooks, Zsa Zsa Gabor, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell, OJ Simpson, David Lee Roth, Gene Autry, Levy Stubbs, Roger Ebert, Pete Townsend, Emery Moorehead, Robert Urich, Captain Kangaroo (Bob Keeshen), Cheap Trick and more…
It’s hard to pick between, Robert Urich, Zsa Zsa, or Captain Kangaroo.
I was on a plane with Frank Zappa and also had a conversation with him while at syracuse University. I was at a stop light with Jeff Bridges in the passenger seat of a convertable Miata. I was walking opposite Kristy Alley on a sidewalk when she was very very pregnant. She noticed that I noticed who she was and I sensed that she was nervous. I simply acknowledged her with a nod of the head and walked by. she was probably very happy about that. I met Ted “the U-Boat Commander” Kennedy, Convict John Rowland, Governor of CT, Geraldine Ferraro in an elevator going down and I said “Oh no, go ahead” to Kiefer Sutherland when he asked if the bar seat next to me was taken. I think that is about all…
You and I saw Donald Sutherland one time at breakfast at that place in Hollywood (Frankie & Mussos or something like that, I cna never remember the name). I also rode in an elevator with Senator Lieberman from CT as our office used to be in the same building as his. He was running for Veep at the time and had lots of security.
Both Captain Kangeroo and Gene Autry’s wife were HAMMERRED when I met them. I actually met the lovely Mrs. Autry twice, once at Angel Stadium (she was HAMMERRED both times) and once at a Grammy Party at The Gene Autry Western Heritage Museum right after it opened. I worked security and met Thomas Dolby and that chick that was in Fast Times at Ridgemont High (Phoebe Cates) and had my picture taken with Mayor Arrington and Gene Autry after they poured Mrs. Autry into a limo against her will (she was HAMMERRED). I met Bob Keeshan when I first moved to LA in like 1986 or 87 at a bar in Hollywood. He was pretty liquored up and was telling stories about his time in the Marines in WWII and fell off his bar stool and was escorted from the place by his people. He was a great man. I was about 14 when I met Zsa Zsa at a taping of the Dinah Shore Show in the 70’s. When I asked her for an autograph, she replied, with a heavy Hungarian accent, that she didn’t give autographs, but I was so cute that she would have her picture taken with me.
I keep that pic of Frank Zappa that Yarbz took at Syracuse on top of my desk.
The manatee fishermen should be wrapped in fishing line, hooked in their groins, and thrown overboard in the middle of the ocean to swim with the sharks.
OJ should rot in prison for the rest of his life, even if it was a setup. He deserves prison.
I’ve lost your number Yarbz. Please email it to me again. You have my number though and the call could be on you
I won’t be able to call drunks in my drunken state without a number, that’s all I know. Wish I could make it to Juggfest, but I’m still supporting my ex and am broke as usual.
Everyone have a great weekend. Stay safe and enjoy!
Good to see cj poppin in.
I’m so darn busy at work it’s ridiculous. I’m even doing work at home now. Good grief, I need a raise!!
Always look forward to the WIR. Well done as usual. Although I think Prosecutor McPedophile ranks higher than OJ. I offer this fucktard for consideration:
http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2007/09/man-urinates-on.html
I apologize, but I must miss the Juggfest this time around. I’ve been planning a big mountain bike ride/chowdown/poker game at my house for a few weeks and I inadvertently scheduled it for the Saturday of Juggfest. My bad - had a great time last year right up until I hit the gurgling dug out and became conversationally comatose. If any feels like stopping by and throwing down a few hands of 7 card stud, let me know.
Enjoy the single malt!
Thanks for the nice comment(s).
You have provided a fine nominee who is deserving of his place in this week’s annals of fucktardary. He is also a sick bastard who deserves what he gave. I’d be happy to piss on him when his time comes. That should be a part of his sentence, that someone pee on him as he goes to the great beyond. I would argue that perhaps there is no bigger fucktard than OJ, but Prosecutor McPeePants does rank highly on the Fucktardometer.
2. Perhaps the BlogLord and I can make it for a hand or two? I don’t recall you going comatose, but I was pretty buzzed myself. I will NOT be engaging in any single malt tasting this time. Strictly beer for me and I will go easy on that as I have been on the wagon for quite some time and don’t want to fall too far from it for fear of not finding it again…
I wasn’t flat on my back, but had a hard time taking words and forming them into sentences.
Where can I get a portable Fucktardometer? That would be a very handy hunk of technology.
Please feel free to stop by on Saturday night should the Juggfest experience a lull in activity.
Send me an email to joel@americancomedynetwork.com and I’ll get you my phone number.